The End.

What will flash through my mind when my eyes meet those of my Creators? I can't help but wonder if all will be wiped away, save the love for the One who gave me life with His breath... A wordless, overflowing passion that is stronger than anything I've ever felt!

Or, perhaps, instead of my heart soaring, it will crash to the ground and shatter. Every evil deed I'd ever done rushing into my memory, the guilt smashing down around me, drowning me. Nothing to do but sob and sob as the full realization of my crimes fill me with despair.

Probably both. But I can only see one ending- me, in the arms of Jesus. Me. One of billions and billions, maybe even trillions who have been created and placed on this earth, loved indescribably. Given a name that the Lord, Most High God, gave me- His child. Loved and at peace, finally and for eternity.

What a great and almighty God we serve!

Church

"The blood of the martyr is the seed of the Christian Church"

Perhaps the problem with Christianity today is that it's to easy. There is no great public struggle. Sure, we are told to hold to our morals, but there are plenty of non-churched people who don't steal or curse or have sex out of marriage. Many teens and adults have made the decision not to smoke, do drugs, or drink. Many so-called Christians abandon these values that they claim to uplift and commit all of these crimes.

There is no passion to study the Bible and discover how God asks us to live. No fire in our bellies to bring others to the Truth. The need for others to experience what we have in God is so low because our own experience with Him has not reached even close to its full potential. The overwhelming desire to share the peace and completeness of Christ is so rarely felt because we ourselves are rarely peaceful or complete! Because of this, we ignore our very purpose on earth. "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." (1 Cor. 6:19b-20) We are supposed to be dedicated to God, wholly and daily.

Early Roman Christians displayed their willingness to die for the same Christ we have. Every single day, because of the faith they had, their lives were on the line. And people noticed. Being a follower of Christ was hard, so when Christians kept going, those who were watching them decided that if He was worth dying for, He must be worth living for. Life may have been harder, but it made all the more difference.

Back then, accepting Christ meant you knew your life was going to change. It wasn't necessarily easier, but they took it on anyway. Everyone, yes, everyone was allowed to join, and many took the opportunity. The attitude wasn't, "Let's show off how good we are", or, "How can the church benefit". It was, "How many people can we love and bring to Christ". Church wasn't a once-a-week thing. It was a culture. Living in that culture meant risking your life, but it was so much more like God intended it to be.

What comes out of nothing-

So many topics swirl in my mind... But I feel no inspiration from any of them. I'm not the type of writer who writes on topics like assignments. If an idea presents itself, I ponder it until I have developed a good enough idea of it to begin writing furiously, afraid to lose words. The feeling of words rushing out of me is incredible, however at the moment my words seem to be uneccesary. They have no point, other than to take up space on a page....

Isn't life like this sometimes? We are told to live every day to its fullest, be the best we can be, but it seems impossible to do that on a daily basis. Life just kind of goes along, whether we are up for the challenge or not. I don't think I've accomlished anything memorable today, even this blog took me a good two hours to get up the energy to write. Some days simply take up space. Would the world be a better place if we didn't live like that? I think so. Think, if every person on this website wrote an amazing, view-changing blog everyday. How wise would the readers be? I know I'd enjoy it.

From a cliche perspective: If everyone woke up each morning (afternoon? lol) with a purpose in mind, a task to accomplish, doesn't have to be anything big, how much different would each day be? Lying down at night, thinking, "I've done what I set out to do". To stop getting up and living just because you don't have many other choices, to not have to write just fill up a blank page...

I love it already :)

Shame :'(

"If we could read the secret history of our enemies,
we should find in each man's life
sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility."
~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

My Labor Day weekend has been quite amazing. I've been able to spend time with many of the people I hold dearest, done some crazy things, and made a few memories. However, what had stood out to me most of all is not the fun or the partying, but the realization of something I thought I knew...

Many people believe, though the world is filled with self-centered human beings, that they are not one of them. I myself look in the mirror and see a girl who cares immensly about others. In fact, I pride myself in my respect for my fellow man and my protectiveness of my friends.
Even so, these past couple of days, especially this one, have somewhat cracked that mirror of self righteousness.

Someone I had talked badly about to my friends, someone I thought was one of the afor mentioned 'self centered' human beings, someone I had even wished evil apon, opened up to me, and I was crushed inside. I sit here now thinking how twisted I was without even realizing it. I had begun to view this beautiful person as someone who only loved themselves, instead of a person who was loved by Someone much greater than myself. I don't even know how to beg for forgiveness, even though I know it is freely given, at least from the Someone who loves above all.

It only took a second for this child to open up to me and tell me what was wrong, to show me that I was trusted. Only a second to pound into my soul that lesson I had decieved myself into thinking I knew by heart. All pain is real pain, and it should be wished upon no one. This being didn't deserve my cruelty, and I am utterly ashamed.

Isaiah 64:6 says, "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away". In that moment I felt myself being blown away in the wind, completely insignificant. What I had prided myself in all my life seemed so small compared to my failure to remember that every beating heart on this earth is loved beyond all imagination.

My lesson in all this: you DON'T know what anyone else is going through. I have yet to meet a single human being who didn't wear some sort of mask, great or small. All my dark thoughts were forgotten when I felt this person's pain. Sorrow and suffering spares no one, it is another one of those things that connects us all... that, and the fact that we are loved.

Appearances

You know what my favorite part of every story is? The long awaited moment when everyone comes clean. Someone in the story, someone you've grown a connection to to, finally lets go, stops trying to be 'strong', and drops the act. It's the time when they realize that now that they aren't holding a curtain in front of themselves, everything they want has the chance of happening. We all begin the tale knowing that lies will come, and throughout it we urge the character to stop pretending. When the desired moment comes, relief floods through us, the knowledge that though life will always go on, the present struggle has ended. Things can finally begin to flow as we know in the very depths of our hearts in the direction they should.

The thing is, most of us get comfortable with our lies. That's why it's kids movies that have the life lessons in them. The peace and relief and sense of victory inspired in young hearts by the truth is substituted in adult entertainment with a murderer being caught, the monster being slain, and the couple so obviously destined for each other sharing true loves kiss. What authors and actors do to catch our attention... Because our lives are easier than the truth we are taught as children, back in the day when things like friendship and patience and trust were the lessons shared, not stress-relief and how to be politically correct. We are stopped being taught how to be human beings, and begin our education on how to be an adult, where everything is for show and certain appearances must be kept...